Please excuse my overly emotional rant for the week. But. Has anyone ever had that moment where you look at your baby...and realize, hey, you're not a baby anymore?! Today...I sadly, had that moment.
I looked at Ava and her beauty truly took my breath away. And my calm away...and I felt myself holding tears back. Where did this gorgeous little girl come from and where was my little tiny baby? For some reason I looked at her and just realized she wasn't a baby anymore, granted she hasn't been a baby for a couple years now, lol, so why did it suddenly hit me?!
I just realized that some day my baby will probably be a mommy herself and will understand all the things I did and said to her, the same way that I now understand everything that my parents did and said to me. I realized that some day she will have her own home, her own life, and I won't get to go grab her from her bed and cuddle up with her any moment I want to. Like I can now.
My husband and I spend every.single.date.night. we have, asking ourselves what we ever did before we had babies. Don't get me wrong, we love our time together, but...really...we ask ourselves...what did we do before?! Because now we eat, drink, breathe, live, for our children. Every waking moment of my day I spend with them, or thinking about them, dreaming about them and who they will become and what I can do to make it better for them. I want them to have it all, I want them to have endless possibilities. As I'm sure every parent does.
All I could do is rest in knowing that this will probably never change. I will always think about them and I will always love them above anything and everything else.
Even when they are old and have babies of their own, I will rest in knowing that I cherished these moments, these days, these years, of tea parties, of play kitchen, of them tugging on my legs as I make them lunch, as they throw all the laundry I just folded onto the floor, I do my best to cherish it all. I guess that's all we can do!
Never forget to cherish these moments.
Some day you will look back and be so glad that you did.